I'll get to the point now. 22 July, I added a girl on a social network. I won't tell her name (refered as “N******” in the story). I didn't know how she was, her attitude, how sweet she was. I started chatting with her: ''Hello, Do I know you?'', and she replies ''I don't know who I am, what a stupid question''. I laughed hardly, I asked her where is she from, and she replied: ''The queen of Bangladesh''.
Alright I'll be honest, she WAS BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, A BABY DOLL (Sorry Justin for using your word, haha). Justin was her friend, he's Canadian. So day by day we're chatting, getting closer, I got to know her somehow. Yeah I loved her since the day I added her, something was changed in my heart when she came in. One day I told her that I love her, and her response was: ''Oooohhh''. I didn't force her. I asked her that does she like someone, and she said that maybe some other guy likes her. I didn't force her much because it hurts badly when you force a girl to be with you. So I didn't react much and stopped talking to her and kept her in my heart. Well I couldn't see anyone flirting with her, our school was filled with a*****es around, who date 2-3 girls at once, while having a girlfriend. So yeah, I used to always poke her to stay safe, like by telling her to choose some other guy. A good guy indeed, who will keep her happy as I will if I get her. I fought with her, made her sad at times too, because I was crazy for her, I was already deeply in love with her. Then we stopped talking for quite some time.
This year, I fell in love with another girl, her name was Zara. I loved her, same way I did N******. Once while we talked on social sites she told me that I'm too good for her. After that I flied to my country Bangladesh. We called, talked, laughed, but one night I told her to come to the mall to meet me. I was really happy that day, because was going to meet her and tell her face to face that I love her. I went inside the lift, I had blue orchard flowers in my hands. When I got out of the lift, and went towards her, I see her hugging another guy, and she kissed him on his cheek. I became angry, I threw the flowers and crushed them with my shoes. She saw me, she came running to me, and yeah again my heart broke, I can't ever forgive her for what she has done. Few days later, it was “Eid”, she messaged me “Eid Mubarak” (Eid is important religious holiday celebrated by Muslims) with a long forgiveness letter, and I forgave her, but still, I don't talk to her anymore, and she means nothing to me.
Then one night I texted N******, she was at Bangladesh at the same time. I messaged her about Zara, she told me that I still love Zara, she said she understands me. I said no, I can't love her cause she betrayed me. Then suddenly I told her that I love her, and no one else. She became shocked, told me that I am drunk, and I can't love 2 girls at once. But what do to, the first love is always true, I always loved N****** from the core of my heart, protected her, kept her safe. The next day I asked her if she likes anyone, she mentioned her friend. (I don't want to say his name here, because he is a big player, he's one of those guys who dates many girls at once). I always tried to keep her away from him. But N****** loved him cause she had memories with him. In fact he loved her too. But that wasn't love, a guy who loves many girls at once, has to face difficulties somehow in his life. I explained her, she cried, I could understand but also the same time I felt bad because he's not the guy for her. Justin, who was my close friend and even closer to N******, he knew that I loved her a lot. He told me to get her and let her forget that other guy. Even Justin hated him. I felt that life is taking me somewhere good, where I can find something and someone better than my past affairs. So I thought why not to give it a try. Next day, I texted her that I love her, my feelings, how I feel about her, how I wanna be with her, how I wanna love her, how I wanna take care of her, how I wanna feel her to love me. She replied that she has nothing to say, and she told me again, that I can't forget Zara, and that’s why I was doing this. It's not possible. We chatted every day, we became close, and somehow we started dating. I sent her a letter (My letter's layout and designs used to suck though :P). She used to get happy with me, stay protected by me, she always wanted to bite me. Haha, that's what she was, the perfect one for me. I knew, it won't be easy for her to forget about that guy, even though she told me that she forgot him, I already forgot Zara when I got N******, because what Zara did with me was horrible. Alright so I'll be honest, I used to cry for N****** Then the season changed, rain rain and just rain. She wanted me to be with her during the rain. She used to love rain, she wanted me to kiss her during rain, I used to text her till morning 8 AM. Those moments, that love, feelings, they are hard to forget, for me and her.
I left my country at 8th September, she was at Bangladesh, she arrived here after few days I did. We had fights, yes I'll be honest, I still used to think that that guy loves her and she also loves him back, I used to ask her if I forced her to be with me but she replied nicely that no, I'm the best guy for her, the only one she loves. On 26th, she sent me the longest message ever telling me how much she loves me, she feels about me, and wishing me Happy Birthday before anyone else. I loved that message, I was reading it like 6-7 times at night. We had a lot of fights, she forgave me, I hurt her a lot, I did, really. :'( Alright I'm crying right now so readers don't be sad. For 3 days now, we are fighting all the time, she thinks I don't trust her, or love her, I don't understand her, when I used to tell I'm not perfect for her, she told me I'm the best. All this fighting was about that guy that I was talking about before. She's the one who got me rid of my bad habits, smoking this that etc. I left all that. This 3 days I miss her a lot, my nights have turned really dark, I miss her a lot. I love her a lot, I won't forgive myself for whatever I've done to her. She loves me too, but I deserve a punishment. I love her till death. I always told her that loving her is dying for her. I can't live without her, our dreams, future dreams, romantic times, each and everything. I miss messaging her when she slept, the messages, where I loved her deeply. Just everything. I'm sorry to the readers, I know I am a bad guy, but I love her, I won't get any girl like her, I want to marry her, make our life. Love each other. I want to be her everything. When she cries I'll be her teddy to hug me. When she’s stressed, I'll be the one to clear it out. When she’s upset, I'll be the joker to make her laugh. When she comes near me I'll be the one to kiss her lips. :'( For 3 days I'm living like a dead man in the street, alone and lonely.
So yeah, that's my story. Thank you all for reading, and yes, I love her.
No comments:
Post a Comment