Real & Incomplete sad love stories..

History Of Valentine's day

2012-02-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

Every year, the fourteenth day of the month of February has millions across the world presenting their loved ones with candy, flowers, chocolates and other lovely gifts. In many countries, restaurants and eateries are seen to be filled with couples who are eager to celebrate their relationship and the joy of their togetherness through delicious cuisines. There hardly seems to be a young man or woman who is not keen to make the most of the day.

The reason behind all of this is a kindly cleric named Valentine who died more than a thousand years ago.

It is not exactly known why the 14th of February is known as Valentine's Day or if the noble Valentine really had any relation to this day. The history of Valentine's Day is impossible to be obtained from any archive and the veil of centuries gone by has made the origin behind this day more difficult to trace. It is only some legends that are our source for the history of Valentine's Day.

The modern St. Valentine's Day celebrations are said to have been derived from both ancient Christian and Roman tradition. As per one legend, the holiday has originated from the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalis/Lupercalia, a fertility celebration that used to observed annually on February 15. But the rise of Christianity in Europe saw many pagan holidays being renamed for and dedicated to the early Christian martyrs. Lupercalia was no exception. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius turned Lupercalia into a Christian feast day and set its observance a day earlier, on February 14. He proclaimed February 14 to be the feast day in honor of Saint Valentine, a Roman martyr who lived in the 3rd century. It is this St. Valentine whom the modern Valentine's Day honors.

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were at least three early Christian saints by the name of Valentine. While one was a priest in Rome, another was a bishop in Terni. Nothing is known about the third St. Valentine except that he met his end in Africa. Surprisingly, all three of them were said to have been martyred on 14th February.

It is clear that Pope Gelasius intended to honor the first of these three aforementioned men. Most scholars believe that this St. Valentine was a priest who lived around 270 AD in Rome and attracted the disfavor of Roman emperor Claudius II who ruled during this time.

The story of St. Valentine has two different versions - the Protestant and the Catholic one. Both versions agree upon Saint Valentine being a bishop who held secret marriage ceremonies of soldiers in opposition to Claudius II who had prohibited marriage for young men and was executed by the latter. During the lifetime of Valentine, the golden era of Roman empire had almost come to an end. Lack of quality administrators led to frequent civil strife. Education declined, taxation increased and trade witnessed a very bad time. The Roman empire faced crisis from all sides, from the Gauls, Slavs, Huns, Turks and Mongolians from Northern Europe and Asia. The empire had grown too large to be shielded from external aggression and internal chaos with existing forces. Naturally, more and more capable men were required to to be recruited as soldiers and officers to protect the nation from takeover. When Claudius became the emperor, he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. He believed that marriage made the men weak. So he issued an edict forbidding marriage to assure quality soldiers.

The ban on marriage was a great shock for the Romans. But they dared not voice their protest against the mighty emperor. The kindly bishop Valentine also realized the injustice of the decree. He saw the trauma of young lovers who gave up all hopes of being united in marriage. He planned to counter the monarch's orders in secrecy. Whenever lovers thought of marrying, they went to Valentine who met them afterwards in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. And thus he secretly performed many marriages for young lovers. But such things cannot remain hidden for long. It was only a matter of time before Claudius came to know of this "friend of lovers," and had him arrested.

While awaiting his sentence in prison, Valentine was approached by his jailor, Asterius. It was said that Valentine had some saintly abilities and one of them granted him the power to heal people. Asterius had a blind daughter and knowing of the miraculous powers of Valentine he requested the latter to restore the sight of his blind daughter. The Catholic legend has it that Valentine did this through the vehicle of his strong faith, a phenomenon refuted by the Protestant version which agrees otherwise with the Catholic one. Whatever the fact, it appears that Valentine in some way did succeed to help Asterius' blind daughter.

When Claudius II met Valentine, he was said to have been impressed by the dignity and conviction of the latter. However, Valentine refused to agree with the emperor regarding the ban on marriage. It is also said that the emperor tried to convert Valentine to the Roman gods but was unsuccesful in his efforts. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully. This angered Claudius II who gave the order of execution of Valentine.

Meanwhile, a deep friendship had been formed between Valentine and Asterius' daughter. It caused great grief to the young girl to hear of his friend's imminent death. It is said that just before his execution, Valentine asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after. As per another legend, Valentine fell in love with the daughter of his jailer during his imprisonment. However, this legend is not given much importance by historians. The most plausible story surrounding St. Valentine is one not centered on Eros (passionate love) but on agape (Christian love): he was martyred for refusing to renounce his religion. Valentine is believed to have been executed on February 14, 270 AD.

Thus 14th February became a day for all lovers and Valentine became its Patron Saint. It began to be annually observed by young Romans who offered handwritten greetings of affection, known as Valentines, on this day to the women they admired. With the coming of Christianity, the day came to be known as St. Valentine's Day.

But it was only during the 14th century that St. Valentine's Day became definitively associated with love. UCLA medieval scholar Henry Ansgar Kelly, author of "Chaucer and the Cult of Saint Valentine", credits Chaucer as the one who first linked St. Valentine's Day with romance. In medieval France and England it was believed that birds mated on February 14. Hence, Chaucer used the image of birds as the symbol of lovers in poems dedicated to the day. In Chaucer's "The Parliament of Fowls," the royal engagement, the mating season of birds, and St. Valentine's Day are related:

"For this was on St. Valentine's Day, When every fowl cometh there to choose his mate."

By the Middle Ages, Valentine became as popular as to become one of the most popular saints in England and France. Despite attempts by the Christian church to sanctify the holiday, the association of Valentine’s Day with romance and courtship continued through the Middle Ages. The holiday evolved over the centuries. By the 18th century, gift-giving and exchanging hand-made cards on Valentine's Day had become common in England. Hand-made valentine cards made of lace, ribbons, and featuring cupids and hearts began to be created on this day and handed over to the man or woman one loved. This tradition eventually spread to the American colonies. It was not until the 1840s that Valentine's Day greeting cards began to be commercially produced in the U.S. The first American Valentine's Day greeting cards were created by Esther A. Howlanda Mount Holyoke, a graduate and native of Worcester. Mass. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap". It was when Howland began Valentine's cards in a large scale that the tradition really caught on in the United States.

Today, Valentine's Day is one of the major holidays in the U.S. and has become a booming commercial success. According to the Greeting Card Association, 25% of all cards sent each year are "valentine"s. The "valentines", as Valentine's Day cards are better known as, are often designed with hearts to symbolize love. The Valentine's Day card spread with Christianity, and is now celebrated all over the world. One of the earliest valentines was sent in 1415 AD by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife during his imprisonment in the Tower of London. The card is now preserved in the British Museum.

There may be doubts regarding the actual identity of Valentine, but we know that he really existed because archaeologists have recently unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to a Saint Valentine.

Its Too Late - Real Story

2012-02-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

LET'S SHOW our love while we can, while people need us. That is something I learnt from an incident in Bhopal .

I saw a little boy daily near the Hanuman temple, always in a white tee and black pants, with a small Hanuman pendant around his neck.

He sat with a basket of fresh floral garlands. Be it at six in the morning or nine at night, he would try his very hardest to sell his wares.

I was a frequent temple goer and each time the boy would ask me earnestly to buy a garland. But somehow I never did. Even when I came out, he would follow me to my car, begging me to buy one at least.

Other boys sold flowers too, but none as persistently as he. I went back to the temple recently after a gap of some months.

The boy was there, seated exactly as before. I tried to avoid his gaze(look), assuming that he would follow me. But he did not budge(move).

I went inside the temple and came back. But the boy made no effort to sell his garlands.

I thought he was angry or just showing his own self-respect.

I suddenly missed the communication. I always had with this unknown boy and went to him. He looked at me but did not speak.

This was strange. I gathered courage and asked: "Bhaiya, why are you not asking me to buy your garlands?"

He said, "Didi, "Its Too Late.." why should I ask? You are rich but you can't spend five rupees on my garland. Anyway now I am not so desperate. My sister was suffering from cancer and I had to work for her medicines. My father had left us. My mother makes the garlands and I sell them. We used the money for my sister's medicines. She passed away two months ago. You can now take one for free."

I bought them all. But I felt so small. I still repent that I did not respond then when he tried so hard.

Don't Be Shy To Express Your Love

2012-02-02T01:44:00.000-08:00

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so-called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn't notice me like that. And I knew it. After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her.
I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know
why...

11th Grade

The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks," and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know
why...

12th Grade

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick," she said. He's not going to go. Well, I didn't have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as "best friends," so we did. Prom night after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know
why...

Graduation Day

A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "You're my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek.
I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know
why…

A Few Years Later

Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn't see me
like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, "You came!" She said, "thanks!" and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know
why...

Funeral

yrs passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my best friend." At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I
stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it.
I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me…
i wish I did too…
i thought to myself, and I cried.

A Piece Of Imagination - A Touching Love Story

2012-01-29T21:58:00.000-08:00

This was the Day. Tony had been waiting for this day for his entire life. He had his share of sorrow all through his life but now the moment waited him which would change his life forever. He was 22 and had seen so much in these years. He never knew what a mother's warmth was. She died giving birth to him. Soon after her death his Dad started seeing other women. Tony hailed from a very rich and prestigious family with generations having served the poor through the medical fraternity. Everyone was a doctor or a PHD but not his dad. His dad didn't take up the medical profession, in fact never tried to earn a penny.

Tony had a lonely childhood until Jane entered his life. He could still remember the day when Jane moved to his borhood. He had found a true fried in her. Jane's company covered all his sorrows, he stated smiling, laughing and more importantly enjoying his life. And now he was going to ask her to marry him. This was his last day of college and he had been preparing for this moment for a while now. He had visualized the scene a hundred times in his dreams." Will you marry me Miss Jane?" He had memorized this simple plain line. As he was waiting for Jane in his garden he heard Uncle Jack calling him. Uncle Jack was the one who looked after him for all these years. Mr. Jack was a Psychologist. He was very dear to Tony. "Can I speak to you for some time, Tony?" "Now? Actually Uncle ..." Before Tony could complete his statement uncle jack said "Tony this is really very important. I always wanted to speak to you about this but was afraid. Now you are older and you will be able to understand.. ." "What is it all about..." Tony asked with a tensed voice. "Not here... Let's go inside the living room and will have a talk there"

Tony followed Uncle Jack into the cottage. Tony was very anxious and nervous. He had never seen his Uncle this way. "Tony before I talk to u about it please promise me you won't panic and whatever happens always remember that I am with you." "God! You are making me too nervous. Tell me uncle jack what is it about". Tony wanted to get through this as early as possible. "Jane must be waiting for me" he thought. "Tony you need to keep your calm. Know it will be very tough for you to understand.. Tony, remember the day when you told me about Jane moving to the cottage next to ours?"

"Is it about Jane...?" he shrieked, his heart was pumping fast... "Listen Tony There is no one living in that cottage for years now..." "whhhat ?? How's that possible I have been there myself so many times.....what are you talking about? I just can't understand" "Please listen Tony. You were alone those days and were very upset with life. You didn't have friends then...You went through lot of things...You wanted to be happy but were unable to you didn't had anyone to talk to" Uncle jack moved closer to Tony and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "And in such situations your brain plays bad games with you. You started imagining Jane as your friend...There is no Jane; Tony you are just imagining her..." "Just just just imagining her...how can you say that ...I have touched her even kissed her cheeks. It's you who are crazy and not me..."

"Tony I know it's hard to believe this. But it's the truth. I always wanted to tell you this but you were too small to understand.. ." "No that's not possible.... .you are lying ..." "No son it's your own mind lying you...please Tony keep your cool everything will be fine ....just trust me"

Tony rushed away from the living room. He ran to meet Jane in the Garden. But no one was there. He went to Jane's house hoping to find her there...he tried ringing the door bell but it didn't rang and how would it? The place was locked for 17 years now. He entered the Cottage through a broken window..Eveything was deserted. The sofa on which he and Jane sat chatting for hours was covered with layers of dust... He was almost crying now...he moved to the terrace to find the rose plant they planted together. There was nothing only some rusted furniture and dust. He went back Uncle Jack. "Son, I am sorry but you need to get out of this..." Tony couldn't believe what had happened to him. The girl who he loved the most and wanted to marry didn't exist. She was fake, a thought, and a piece of imagination...

It took around a month for him to digest his fate. He was finally recovering. And that day before going to sleep he took those tablets which he took for last 15 years. He always wondered why Uncle Jack kept giving him those tablets. Now he knew the answer. He was sick. Sick mentally. As he was about to sleep he heard a knock on his door. It was Jane. "Jane you cant be here...you don't exist..." "What's that? Is this some kind of Joke, Tony? I came here to say sorry. I had to leave that day without informing you because my mom died in a car accident...I tried to reach you but somehow I was not able to..."

"Noooo! this is not true" said Tony. "There is no one called Jane in my life...I know that now...Just get away from me... " "Whats the matter with you Tony? I am Jane your sweetheart your love...." "No that's not true...." Tony closed his eyes for a moment hoping his dream would end.... Jane held his hand....Tony was shivering he could feel the touch.His brain was playing Bad games with him he knew it. "Come here my baby you are not well...you need some rest" "Go away from me ...just go..." Tony was breathing high now...He tried keeping his cool and took a deep breath. He knew this would be over once he convinced himself that there was no Jane. "Jane you are my imagination. ..I made you..." "Tony you can't hurt me ...you love me so much ...we had such a great time together" "No Jane, I had a great time with myself..." What am I talking! I am going nuts..

He rushed into the kitchen. He came back with water all over his shirt... He could still see Jane standing there...weeping. He was well aware of the bad games of the Brain now. He went closer to her... "Jane i made you ...now i will destroy you..." Zap zap zap... three stabs...Jane was bleeding... Tony could feel the red liquid ....bad brain games he thought... "Uncle Jack. Where are you? I am cured now. There will be no Jane from now on...where are you Uncle Jack?" "There is no Uncle Jack. I wanted to tell you this... All these days..." Jane gasped. Breathing her last breath.

Mother's Love

2012-01-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an .embarrassment
She cooked for students & teachers to .support the family
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to .say hello to me
I was so embarrassed. How could she do this ?to me
I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and .ran out
The next day at school one of my classmates said, \"EEEE, your mom only has \"!one eye
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to .just disappear
So I confronted her that day and said, \" If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why \"!!!?don't you just die
My mom did not ...respond
I didnt even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was .full of anger
I was oblivious to her .feelings
I wanted out of that house, and have .nothing to do with her
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to .Singapore to study
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. .I had kids of my own
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts
Then one day, my mother .came to visit me
She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even .meet her grandchildren
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming .over uninvited
I screamed at her, \"How dare you come to my house and scare my children!\" \"!!!GET OUT OF HERE! NOW
And to this, my mother quietly answered, \"Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,\" and she disappeared .out of sight
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my .house in Singapore
So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business .trip
After the reunion, I went to the .old shack just out of curiosity
My neighbors said that .she died
I did not shed a single .tear
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to .have
My dearest son,\" I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your .children
I was so glad when I heard you were coming .for the reunion
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to .see you
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were .growing up
You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost .your eye
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having .to grow up with one eye
.So I gave you mine
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my .place, with that eye
,With my love to you
Your mother.

My Sweet little Angel - Sweet Story

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

My wife called, ‘How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?’ I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked frightened.
Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.She has just turned eight. She particularly detested Curd Rice. My
mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the ‘cooling effects’ of Curd Rice!
I cleared my throat, and picked up the bowl. ‘Sindu, darling,why don’t you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice?Just for Dad’s sake, dear.
Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. ‘OK, Dad. I will eat – not just a few
mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…’ Sindu hesitated. ‘Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?’………..Oh sure, darling’….’Promise?’……………..
‘Promise’. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinch the deal.
‘Ask Mom also to give a similar promise’, my daughter insisted.
My wife put her hand on Sindu’s, muttering ‘Promise’.
Now I became a bit anxious. ‘Sindu dear, you shouldn’t insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items.Dad does not have that kind of money right now. OK?’
‘No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive’.Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity.
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eat something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation.All our attention was on her………….’Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!’ was her demand.
‘Atrocious!’ shouted my wife, ‘A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!’ ‘Never in our family!’ my mother rasp. ‘She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!’
Sindu darling, why don’t you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.’
‘No, Dad. I do not want anything else’, Sindu said with finality.
‘Please, Sindu, why don’t you try to understand our feelings?’ I tried to plead with her.
‘Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice’. Sindu was in tears. ‘And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for.Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra,and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?’
It was time for me to call the shots. ‘Our promise must be kept.’
‘Are you out your mind?’ chorused my mother and wife.
‘No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honor her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.’
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom.She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile.
Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, ‘Sinduja, please wait for me!’
What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. ‘May be, that is the in-stuff’, I thought.
‘Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!’ Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued,’ That boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish.He is suffering from… … leukemia.’ She paused to muffle her sobs. Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month.He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates’Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue.
But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.’
I stood transfix. And then, I wept. ‘My little Angel, you are teaching me how self-less real love is!’
*The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love..*

Misfortune Death - Some Questions For My Mom

2012-01-23T21:55:00.000-08:00

I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside,
The way you said I would.I didn't drink and drive, Mom,

Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing,Mom,
I know you are always right.Now the party is finally ending,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me,
,And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,"The other guy is drunk,"
And now I'm the one who will pay

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

A very sad day, But a peaceful one

2012-01-23T06:06:00.000-08:00

I started this blog on New Years not knowing what it would bring. I lacked focus and after committing to this project for the new year, I wondered what I was getting myself into. I told myself that I would not write everyday, but as needed. Then my father got sick and sicker and sicker.

The week after I started my blog I took my Father for a PET Scan and it was determined that his newly found stomach lymphoma appeared to have also been in his small intestines. The following day, we went to meet with his oncologist who was willing to start treatment, but you could just tell by the look on his face, he was not overly optimistic. There was no way my father was strong enough to handle chemotherapy. One, maybe two sessions and that would have been the end of him. I told my father that he should think about getting a bit stronger first, but he did not want to wait. He has already missed three appointments with the oncologist because he was hospitalized 4 times in December- bowl obstructions, hepatic comas and variations of other issues he had going on. You see, my brother is getting married in September and while my father knew in September of last year, when the wedding was booked, that he would not be here a year from that time, he still wanted to fight and try.

The day after the oncologist consult where he set himself up with all the appointments to start his chemotherapy infusion, I drove him into Manhattan to see his doctor at Mount Sinai Hospital in the Liver Transplant Center. That visit brought even more discouraging news. You see, it had always been their policy that a patient be cancer free for 5 years before undergoing a transplant. The doctor, who my father absolutely adored, had to tell my father with tears in his eyes, that he was no longer viable for a transplant and therefore could not be treated in the clinic any longer. As a professional courtesy, the doctor agreed to monitor him in his other office, but there was not much he could do for him at that point. He had exhausted all medical measures and had to tell my father, and the rest of the family; that at the rate his liver was declining, his liver would not last the 5 years he was required to be cancer free. Chemo in his case might shut the liver down completely and with all the other medical issues he had going on, he was given a 20% survival rate.

On the way out of the doctors office, my father needed to stop in the bathroom before we headed back to Long Island. As I waited for him, I stood in the hallway and started crying. The doctor had in the best way he knew how, handed my father a death sentence and there was no turning back and no reversing it. I tried to be brave and not show my pain and sorrow, but you could see it all over my face. I drove home from Manhattan having a huge anxiety attack, fighting back the tears and with the thought that I would probably not have to be inconvenienced to take my father into the city too many more times.

At this point my father was weak and could not get around easily so we had a wheelchair in the car that we used for such occasions when a long walk was required. There was one part of the hospital that had a fairly large ramp and the first time I went to the city when my father was wheelchair bound, I ran down the ramp pushing him at a very high speed. He was saying "Slow down, there is a wall up ahead". And at the very last minute, I would slow down and then make the turn. He would comment to me how he thought I was going to crash him or make him fly out of the wheelchair. After we would turn the corner and he knew he was safe, I would say to him, "Come on, you know that was fun" and he would look up and say, "Actually it kind of was". On January 7, 2010 when I took him for his visit, this would be the last time I ran him down the ramp at a high speed. Sick people, doctors, serious people all around, and then there were the two of us running down the halls in a wheelchair at race car speeds. Like little kids smiling and laughing the entire way. And as I said, it would be the last time we acted like little kids together, only I did not know it at the time.

Less than a week later, my father started to get sicker, and sicker, and sicker. My father was to start his first Chemo infusion on January 14th. Originally it was scheduled for the 13th, but when we learned it was to be almost 7 hours long, we asked him to change it as it was my mother's birthday on the 13th. As that week started off, my father was not feeling well and as the days went on, he got worse and worse. It was apparent that he was far too weak and unstable to start the chemo, but he insisted on trying as it was his "last hope". My sister was to fly in on the 19th and asked if he could hold off just one more week, but my father refused. He was adamant that he get started right away "before he changed his mind and decided to die".

Somewhere around the 12th (a Tuesday), he was so ill and so unstable that he could not even stand on his own. He could not get comfortable for more than a moment at a time and he looked at me and said, "Maybe this week is not such a good week to start my chemo." "I may need to rethink this one.", he said. A wise decision on his part, but it did not matter, he never would have made it to that chemo appointment anyway. Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning Tuesday or technically Wednesday morning around 2am, I said enough is enough and I called an ambulance. As sick as he was, my father did not want to go to the hospital. You see, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he might not make it and I think he did not want to die in the hospital alone in the middle of the night. For weeks prior he had been making peace with God, asking questions about how to pray and how to get into Heaven. I think he knew and he was prepared, yet he did not want to die alone......and he didn't.

When we got him to the hospital, his heart rate was very rapid, then barely existent. His blood pressure was so faint, a mere 45/11 at some points and at others, even lower than that. His heart rate was up and then down. He was in pain, his kidney's were shutting down, his one lung had collapsed or was not working at first glance and he was starting to take on a very yellow color as jaundice from his failing liver was setting in. As the hours went on, they tried, but were keeping him comfortable and buying him hours at the best. He was in so much pain and as I watched as his blood pressure went to 23/9 and his eyes were rolling back in his head, I looked at my mother and said, "We can't do this to him anymore....all his organs are failing - he has too much wrong with him and we can't keep putting him through this."

The doctors wanted to know if he stopped breathing if we wanted them to put my father on a ventilator, and I know for certain that he did not want that. With tears welling up and feeling like the World's biggest piece of shit, I looked at my mother and said, "We have to sign the papers...we have to sign them, he can't do this anymore." My mother looked at me and said, "The DNR?" ...... It was as if all the life had been drained from my body. I could not speak, I could not breath- all I could do was nod my head "yes" and run out of the room hysterical. Complete strangers were coming up to me asking if I was OK and if they could get me anything but all I could do was say, "no thank you" and cry some more.

My sister lives in Las Vegas and I had called her late at night her time, and in the wee hours of morning my time to tell her that the doctors did not expect he was going to pull through until next week and if she could, she might want to consider catching a sooner flight out. Just as I had picked up the phone to go out of the room and call her, the phone rang. I answered hysterical crying to my sister saying, "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong? What happened? Net- Tell me what is going on!" She thought it was too late and he was gone, but he wasn't- not yet anyway.

I explained the situation, told her we had to do it and that I felt like the World's biggest piece of shit. I told her that his kidneys had completely shut down, that his heart was erratic, his blood pressure barely existent and that his lungs were not functioning properly and he had trouble breathing. He was in pain, his skin was yellow and he was going into multi-organ failure. If we cured one issue, there were a million more and the odds were so stacked against him. The DNR needed to be signed, I did not want to and I felt as if I signed it, I would be condemning him to death, but he was suffering. I had watched him suffer for a long, long time, but never like this. From both ends of the phone, silence, then hysterical crying and disbelief. My sister told me to sign it- her own father-in-law was in the hospital, put on a vent, had kidney issues for a while and she knew just how painful it was. My sister told me to "sign the papers. You are not the one killing him, you are stopping his pain and he is suffering now."

My sister was working on getting a sooner flight but just in case, I snuck the phone into the ER and put my father on the phone with my sister so that they could at least speak one last time. My father, never an emotional man at all, got on the phone. I had to remove his oxygen mask and as he gasp for breath, he told my sister that he loved her, was proud of her and if he never saw her again that he would miss her. He then asked her to please not forget him when he was gone. I knew that it was his time, but prayed for two things- one that he hang on long enough for his children to see him one last time and two, that he not die that day- not before midnight because this is how my mother was spending her birthday.

As soon as I got off the phone with my sister, I immediately called my brother at work and told him he better leave work early because Dad was bad- real bad and I was not sure how much longer he had left. Should the toxins build up and he go into another hepatic coma, he needed to see his father one last time before it was too late. Moments later he arrived and shortly after that, my sister called back to say she had 2 hours to go home, pack and get to the airport. She found a sooner flight and she got in at 10:40pm. I told her I would get her, but prayed that she would make it in time.

The doctors ran more test, tried to find out the cause of the kidney failure and while my mother and I knew that it was a matter of days or hours, we let them do their tests to buy some time and make him comfortable and as stable as possible hoping my sister would made it off the plane in time.

My father was moved to the CCU of Saint Catherine's Hospital and although they have strict visiting hours, I think they understood the severity of the situation. As he had a private room, they allowed all family members in at all hours. There were 15 of us at one point and while they all came to pay their respects to my father and see him one last time, we also tried to make light of the situation and brought in a birthday cake for my mother. It was not the birthday I had envisioned for her and certainly not the birthday she had envisioned for herself, but it was the very least we could do.

As the hours went on, my father began having more difficulty breathing. He started to get nasty and was turning more and more yellow. I knew the toxins were building in his brain and it would not be long before a hepatic coma set in. He was in so much pain and his words began to slur and his voice got fainter and fainter. I thought if I told him my sister was on a plane that he would hang in there just a bit longer. He was trying to say something to me but I could not understand. I removed his oxygen mask and he said, "Give me some of the loopy stuff". He wanted morphine for the pain. I told my father that my sister was coming and to hold on and didn't he want to see her. I asked if he was in pain and he shook his head yes. I asked if it was in his abdomen which is what had been bothering him the last few days and he said, "Everywhere". Trying not to tear up, I explained that if they gave him something for the pain, it might make his heart stop and didn't he want to see his daughter one last time. I know that he did, but he was in so much pain that he said, "Make it stop".

My mother had actually just signed the DNR around this time. We explained to the medical staff that my sister was in flight and we did not want any heroic measures, but if they could keep him going just long enough for my sister to see him on last time. I told them he was in so much pain and once my sister got here and talked with him for a bit, could they make him comfortable. It had been decided that my father would be given a morphine drip and they were to set up hospice for the following day. We were holding off on giving him something now in fear my sister would not make it, but he was in so much pain. First we decided to let him die, and then we decided to make him suffer. After all I did to make him comfortable over the past weeks, here I was watching him in so much pain that he would rather die than see his daughter one last time and yet, I was letting him suffer. What kind of daughter was I?

As the hours went on, he got worse and worse. He did tell my brother that he loved him and was sorry he was so sick and it did not look as if he was going to make it to my brother's wedding. My brother, a big tough kid- husky and over 6 feet was breaking down in tears that no amount of hugging and encouraging words could console. At least my brother and sister got to hear their father tell him that he loved them one last time. As for me, I never got that chance.

Family was in and out. Around 8:30ish they all started to leave and say their good bye's. At this time, my mother was walking people out and there was a free moment with my father so I decided to sit and talk with him- tell him that I loved him and make my peace. I was hoping that he would tell me that he loved me too. You see my father was apparently very good at work- they all loved him and praised him, yet with his family, he was harsh, critical and you always felt as if you could never measure up. Recently people told me that he was so proud of his family and spoke of them often, but this was news to me. I knew my father was dying and before this, it was very much a love/ hate relationship. I loved him as a father, but hated him as a person. It took him dying to finally become human. Work, always his number one priority; his family always came second. Growing up feeling that your father did not love you was a horrible thing. Never hearing him say he was proud of you and always seeking his approval was heartbreaking.

Ironic that in the end as he got sicker, I bonded with him. He started saying things like, "please" and "thank you". He started asking if you could "please help him" and would say "sorry to be a bother to you again" - words he never used. For some reason he had a sense of entitlement - like the whole world owed him. As he got sicker, he became more humbled and started to recognize and admit openly that perhaps he was wrong for not putting his family first all these years. He started to tell me that he was so happy I was here to help and that he did not know what he would do without me. It took him 33 years to get to that point. I took him 33 years to finally admit that he was proud of me. After months of taking care of him so closely, I bonded with him in a way I never thought possible. I started to see another side of him that I had never seen before, but that side of him was short lived.

I know that deep down inside, he loves me, but I wanted to just hear him tell me....just one last time. But I would never hear him tell me those three simple words that carried such deep meaning. When I finally got a moment alone with my Father, I started talking to him. I asked if he could hear me but there was no response. I thought perhaps his voice was faint so I removed his oxygen mask and put my ear closer to him and asked one last time if he could hear me, but there was no reply. I replaced the oxygen mask and began to cry. I would never hear my father speak to me again. The last words I heard were of him asking me to "please fix his pillow" as he was so uncomfortable and in so much pain.

Perhaps my father could not hear me, but I began talking to him anyway. There are stories of people in comas that can hear or recognize voices, so while I was alone, I assumed that even though he would not answer me, he could hear me. I made my peace, asked him to please look out for me and to help me find my way and then I told him that I loved him. Shortly after, my mother returned and I told her that I would take a walk to stretch my legs but that she should sit with him and tell him what she needed to say. I returned about 15 minutes later and teary eyed, my mother looked at me and I said, "He did not respond, did he?" She began crying and shook her head NO. Later I learned that he most likely slipped into a coma around 8:30 or 9pm. He was just lying there, his eyes were open, he was not blinking, but he was peaceful. The nurse told us she thought he was no longer in pain and whether she was just saying that or it was true, I needed to believe it.

My heart was breaking. Although I had not heard the words I longed to hear, at least I was with my father when he was alert, my sister would not be so lucky. First her plane was to get in early, then it was running late. All the while praying she made it in time. As I sat there anxiously, I noticed his heart rate started to decline, his respirations were less and less, his pulse ox was not good and I knew it would not be long. All the sudden a text message came in- my sister's plane had landed. I stood up and went right over to my father and said, "Daddy, Jessie is here. Her plane landed. She is coming right over to see you, just hang in there Daddy- Jessie is on her way." I then told my brother to drive like the wind and make no stops along the way.

Around 11pm, my sister finally made it to the hospital. She looked at his monitors and commented that his heart rate of 99 was high, when in fact it was low. It had been as high as 150 earlier in the day. My sister started talking to him, telling him she loved him and then she placed something around his neck that she had blessed by a priest in Vegas for him. You see, anyone that wore this when then passed was to go straight to Heaven. So as she put it around his head, she said, "You hear that Daddy....you are going to go straight to Heaven."

In the last few weeks my father became very curious about death and Heaven. He told my mother and I that he had been a bad person- he worked too much and was never there for his family and he was so so sorry. He wanted to know the proper way to pray so that he could ask God for forgiveness to ensure he would go to Heaven when he died. So when my sister placed that thing she had blessed around his neck and told him he was going straight to Heaven, there was a blip on his monitor and I cried like I have never cried before because I knew how much that meant to him.

As we sat there for a few more minutes, I noticed his heart rate was now 95, then 92....88, 85, 80. His pulse ox dropped and his respiration number were decreasing significantly. I knew this was the time we had all been waiting for, yet the moment we were all dreading. I stood up and said, "I love you Daddy, We all love you". I then looked at my brother who was beside himself and said, "If anyone has anything they want to say, I think now would be the time." My brother looked up at me and said, "I can't". As the numbers got lower, my sister started telling my father she loved him and as the numbers got even lower, my brother finally stood up, came bedside and with tears coming down his face, he told his father that he loved him.

All of us with tears in our eyes, crying, telling my father we loved him and then it dawned on me and I looked over and saw the clock. It was 11:45pm on January the 13th. So I looked at the clock and then back at my father's monitor. His numbers were still dropping, digit, but digit. I reached over and rubbed my father on the leg and said, "Not yet Daddy, I know you have been through so much, but not yet. Just hang in there 15 minutes, please, just 15 minutes." Now everyone was crying and I kept watching the clock and watching the monitor. "OK Daddy, you can do it, just 10 more minutes- just hang in there 10 more minutes."

By this point my mother was crying, "He is going to die on my birthday" and I looked up at her and said, "No he is not". Looking back at the monitor, his pulse was now at 54. "Come on Daddy, you can do it, just 7 more minutes, then you can go...... just 7 more minutes." Everyone was crying and as I stood there instructing my father as to when he was permitted to die, his stats kept dropping. His pulse hit 23and my mother was hysterical. Being consoled by my brother who was a mess himself, She began to say, "He is going to die on my birthday".

In a stern voice I stood over my father and said, "NOT YET. After everything I did for you, this is the least you can do for me." All the sudden his monitor flickered and his heart rate went up to 80 and his respirations improved slightly. My brother stood up and said, "He hears you." and then he began, "Come on Dad, just 5 more minutes." His stats once again began dropping rapidly. My sister stood up, "Dad, you can do it, just a few more minutes please." My mother was in the chair hysterical crying and my future sister in law was hugging her. The numbers started going down, 40's in the 30's. My brother got back up and said in a stern and pissed off voice, "You have to be selfish right to the very end don't you?" And then as if my father heard this and did not like it, he responded with a blip on the monitor and his heart rate went back up into the 50's.

It wasn't long now, he was too unstable but he needed to hang in there just a few more minutes. It came close- very, very close. "One more minute Dad- you can do it. Just one more minute" We all told him we loved him and I asked him to watch over us..... (to haunt my ex- husband, but to watch over us). Then as I rubbed his leg and watched the monitors as his pulse was quickly getting to the single digits, I said, "Just hang in there, just 30 more seconds". Then "15 seconds Daddy, You can do it - PLEASE, just 15 seconds." Then "10 seconds" and as we all watched the monitor and the clock, "5 more seconds Daddy and then you can go". That was it- about 10 seconds after midnight, he passed with all three children, his wife and future daughter-in-law by his side. He got his wish, and he did not die alone.

My mother was crying, "HE DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY" and we all said, "No he didn't Mommy- look at the clock, it is after midnight. It is a new day- he did not die on your birthday." While my siblings comforted my mother, I walked out to the hurse's station and said, "I do not know who is in charge of making this official, but take some time- the death certificate has to say the 14th and not the 13th" ......and it does. His official death certificate reads January 14, 2010 at 12:10am.

I walked back into the room, removed all his oxygen masks and the pulse ox from his ear and I placed my hand over his face. I said "I love you" and as I ran my hand from his forehead down, I closed his eyes and noticed one little tear on the bridge of his nose. My sister ran over and openned the window to "let his soul be free" and then we all said good bye to my father.

When I left him in the hospital, he was skin and bones. He was jaundice, his hands and feet were purple from lack of circulation and I was so so sad knowing he had suffered so. This past Saturday and Sunday was his wake. He was dressed up, he had make-up on to cover the skin discoloration and they had padded his clothing to make it appear that he was not so sickly at the end. While he looked nothing like the lively man I knew growing up, he looked good compared to how I saw him last, but most importantly, he looked peaceful.

Today was his funeral. (Well technically yesterday since it is after midnight) Honestly, I thought it would be much, much worse. Maybe because I had my breakdown last night, or maybe because I knew his suffering was over, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be at all. His passing was oddly one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed and I am so glad I was there with him. I am glad we were all there with him. What gives me comfort on this very difficult day is knowing that he is finally at peace, his suffering is over and hopefully, he is looking down upon me and he will help grace my life with many beautiful days and help me to see the rainbows of tomorrow.

I love you Daddy, you will never be forgotten and will be in my heart forever!

A Little Boy And His Father - Touchy

2012-01-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?” replied the man.

SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”

DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”

DAD: “If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour.”

SON: “Oh,” the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?”

The father was furious, “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think: May be there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs..50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. “Are you asleep, son?” He asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy..

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier” said the man.

“It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. “Oh, thank you daddy!” He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father..

“Why do you want more money if you already have some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have Rs. 100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow I would like to have dinner with you”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family...

A Sad Love Story - It Will Touch Your Heart Deeply

2012-01-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

A Sad Love Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a frien until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before tha trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair o lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but b his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls, shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much.

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….

True Love - I Did

2012-01-19T22:24:00.000-08:00

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girl's eyeballs." Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer, visualising Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way. "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me. "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?" Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. "You are not a man!" At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms." She continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce." She said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly. "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualisation of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realised that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead, "You got no fever." I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you. I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote. "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

A Beautiful Love Story Which Will Touch Your Heart

2012-01-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company .

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again....... ..hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." -- Karl, 5 years old, when asked, "What does love mean?"

A Beautiful True Love Story

2012-01-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.

But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.

So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.

When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.

She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”

The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”

The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.

The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.

With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.

And then she saw her name on it!

Confused, she asked, “What is this?”

That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”

The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”

Birthday Gift

2012-01-13T04:14:00.000-08:00

It was his birthday today. She wanted to give him something best gift. She made all the arrangements and was waiting for him to return home.

She had thought they will celebrate his birthday in the evening. She took the leave for the same, so that when her husband comes back she will be there to greet him.

It was almost a year they were married. Immediately after marriage he got transferred into another city & they moved to that unknown city. It was only her support due to which they were managed to live in such unknown city away from his home town.

She was always with him through every moment in life..happiness, sadness, all. She was not only his good wife but also was a very good friend knew each other since ages…knew what he likes & dislikes…

It was his first Birthday after marriage & she wanted to make it beautiful. She had asked him to come around 7. She was waited. It was already 7.30 pm and he did not turn up. She was continuously checking her cell phone..

Finally the phone rang & it was him…It was happened that he celebrated his birthday with his office friends. They went out for the lunch, so did not get time to look into P1 issue which he was suppose to finish it today… He said that he will be coming late; so she should not wait for him for dinner…

As usual he managed to convince her… She kept the phone down…she felt bad. She had planned for something …all got wasted. Her eyes filled with tears… But one thing she knew that her husband loves her a lot.

But she did not have her dinner. And was waiting for him. Her eyes were continuously looking at the door. Finally at 11.00 pm bell rang.. She ran to door..just like a marathon race… She opened the door.

With half opened door gave a beautiful smile to her lovely husband. Looking at her face he forgot how much tired he was! He gave the smile in return. He entered into the house. He looked at the corner dining table, which was arranged with the all his favorite food items made especially for him by his loving wife.

There was a cake in between. He was disappointed as he could not make his promise to come early. “I am sorry. Its too late” . “Hey no probs, still we have one more hour to celebrate. Right?” “Yeah” “Okay, you go & fresh. Let’s have a dinner”. He went into his master bedroom…Switched on the light.

He noticed that something was kept on the bed… He went & saw… there were 2 beautifully wrapped gifts & a lovely red rose has been kept over there, with a note “I LOVE U – To my Dearest Husband, from his wife”

He slowly opened the small box. There was a photo album in it with “SWEET Memories…” written on the front page. Inside, on the first page it was his childhood snaps…snaps with his parents…his sister…to whom he could not meet since last one year.

Then next..there was his school..colleges..previous offices snaps were included. On the next page there was his snap with his best friends…with a B’day wishes messages form them written below. He was totally surprised to see all these things…how she managed to do!!!!…

Next was his snap with a guitar which he used to play in his college days. There was a key embedded along with snap, with a message: “I know you love music…I would like you to continue with your hobby…here is the key for the same to open the second box “ . He looked at the second box containing Guitar.

Now his eyes were completely filled with tears. He returned in into the last section of that album, where there was his marriage snaps…n then last snap which was including his family photograph with “My Family” written on the top.

His tears rolled down on his cheeks. He looked back; his wife was standing over there. He ran towards her. He kissed on her forehead & hugged her tightly. “ I love you dear”…”I love you too” Before he could say anything she wanted him to give the last surprise of the day that she had planned.

She took him out of the bedroom where everyone was waiting for them. He could not believe that his parents were standing in front of him. And it was the best surprise; she knew how much he loves his parents. He thanked her for everything & for being there always with him.

It was only one hour but it was the best one in his entire life..and the Best Birthday too… Much more than he could imagined. He was happy & by looking at him she got happy too. He took out his guitar & start playing. Those moments were so precious. Entire atmosphere was filled with melodious music, happiness, love.

Attitude and its importance …

2012-01-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.
Love,
Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!’ At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son’s reply was: ‘Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It’s the best I could do for you from here.’

Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS.. NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS….

Broken Promises

2012-01-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

Married 11 years. This is my one and only love. He proposed to me on a playground. This was the man who taught me the meaning of love. We were a part of what God truly meant to be as husband and wife. My best friend, an aura of comfort as I held him in my arms. Every physical and spiritual fulfillment in a man I ever wanted. Not once did I want anyone else. No one could take his place.

We were to renew our vows. I practiced for months, my new vows-I would repeat them in the car, or in the grocery store silently. I could not wait to begin our next years with good histories, and good hearts. To show him in renewed vows how over many years, ups and downs, I held solid in my devotion.

And then promises were broken.

At first I focused mainly on how I couldn't even breathe without him. A pattern of hurtful words, plans never made and even an affair. I endured pulling him back from someone else's arms, his eyes so sincere with lies, his words so very melodical and spellbinding. I listened believing every word he said. I crushed every time he entered a room. I could not see or believe what was going on. No Christmas presents, no birthday presents, no anniversary plans carried through, talking to me like I was a stranger, a list too long to share.

I often asked myself, 'What did I do?' or 'Why did he do this?' It took a while for me to figure this out. He had changed. I did not change. My love was still strong. I could battle all external things, but not the man himself.

His last promise he made was that he was going to come back to me and we would live together always, never to be apart, grow old together. He told me he cried when he thought of what a mistake it was he said by telling me goodbye two days after Christmas. Then just weeks ago he tells me that his job has become more important and he knows I have a job that I finally have after years of looking. When a man picks a job over his wife...well it's time to leave. But that's not the worst promise broken.

The one thing I asked him not to break was that I asked him not to put me through any more pain. This was my final outcome.

I took the final step and decided to walk away. I am ready now. He has lost the one thing he should have never let go of. I think I deserve better. I am the one who has no guilt, or remorse. And it takes my own strength to break the chains I put on myself by loving a man and forgetting to respect myself.

There is strength in the power of goodbye, it all begins with courage.

A Beautiful Rose That Has Withered Away

2012-01-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

She was sitting there. in the front row of the classroom.. She was the hyperactive chatty gal that I would love to loathe...

At first sight, there was simply nothing extraordinary about her. I was annoyed at her seemingly uncontrollable mischievous personality. But then again, I looked beyond that and recognized her warm and mature personality... And that her large brown eyes enthralled me....Captivating me with her sweet and jovial smile...

I fell in love with her........

There was only one thing I can... and must... do... I gotta let her know how I feel.. I did, and that's the start of a wonderful, forever lasting love... or at least that's what I thought.

Those were the happiest times of my life. I would call her numerous times a day..... Life for me was heavenly. I had always dreamt of loving my other significant half to the max, even when I was a young child. This was a dream come true for me. She was almost the perfect girl I had dreamt about before. She loved me as much as I love her (I still do...). I would embrace her tightly to feel her warmth and kiss softly on her forehead. I long to be with her forever. Words alone could not describe the blissful times I had with her. Her distinctive voice would just banish my blues away. We never squabbled before. Life is truly a heaven to experience such a true love. For me, true love is always 0.1% lust, 0.9% attraction and 99.0% appreciation. I had always appreciated her and so did she.

Those times went on for 2 years. But then, the inevitable happened. She became aloof, unresponsive and her cheerful disposition had diminished. "What happened to her"? I asked myself...Gradually, she lessen her phone calls to me. I tried coaxing her to talk to me but to no avail. Then, after weeks of coaxing, she finally told me that she had changed (she didn't know why, it just came all of a sudden). She told me that our characters do not match and sad to say that we should not continue the relationship. She implied that I'm a person who does not care much about the world around me (which is quite true as I don't trust friends and I'm quite a loner) She also said that there are small little things that also add up to her unhappiness. I was devastated... I didn't know that she felt that way all this time... Well, I knew about my weaknesses but I thought that she accepted them. I cried and pleaded her to stay on with me but to no avail as it was only the most sensible thing for a matured person (such as herself) to do. She said that its better for us to separate rather than go deeper into an unhappy relationship than is doomed to failure (which is, sad to say, true). I am still in a deep depressed state. Its been 4 months since she broke up with me...

How I hope to be with her again. Its actually not her fault. She was doing the only sensible thing (to break up before we go any deeper). Sometimes, I feel like life's fragile.....

A beautiful thing like love can be ended abruptly Feels like a precious thing had been taken away from me...

Just like a beautiful rose that withered away....

Short Real Love Story

2012-01-10T05:22:00.000-08:00

From the first day that I am layed my eyes apoun her. I knew she was the one. From the endless night and the dreamfull days. All i could do is think about her. I didn't know how love feels until i met her. She showed me the light, she showed me her love, she showed me my future. And today its all gone. Looking at her for the last time in my life. Feelings rush in my heart for her more stronger. Knowing she belongs to someone else. I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't touch her lips. OH GOD Its hurts so bad.

When i met her again for the final time. I huged her so hard. Kissing her forhead. As i took her hand to the car. I couldn't stop looking at her. Closing her eyes as I place my love gift on her neck and Kissed the Pendant in the name of GOD. As we go to the movies hand in hand. Looking at her knowing shes my frist life. But also knowing shes someone else. God it hurts so bad.

When i left her at the airport, All i can do was cry. Looking at her for the final time in my life. Hurted me more and more. she huged me so hard that i felt she had the same feelings. But i knew she was just looking for my happiness.

I know she will be mine in heaven. And i shall wait for her. I promis I will wait for her.

Yes I Was Wrong - Sad Love Story

2012-01-09T00:16:00.000-08:00

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.

She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.

She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."

I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"

I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"

I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.

Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.

The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.

I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."

She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.

She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.

Krithika's Real Love Story

2012-01-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

krithika was first year science student, studying in chennai.she was first daughter to her parents,so her parents treated her like a princess.it was a fine evening.the setting sun is painting the sky with vibrant colors.few flights crossed with heavy noise.birds returning back to their nest.schools students are going to tuition.krithika enjoyed all these beautiful sights from her balcony while having her favorite bru coffee.flower boy delivered flowers to her.when she unwrapped the flowers from the news paper,she noticed the column 'INK LINKS' with full of addresses.she studied about pen friendship in her school days.but by that time she didnt get an opportunity to make pen friends.so she thought to give a try now.she couldn't select anyone from the list so she thought to mail her address to get published.later after few days while searching books in her cupboard.she found bunch of letters in her name.with a surprise she read the letters.then she understood that her advertisement got published,seeing that few persons written letters to her.many persons like her are looking for pen friendship across india.most of the letters are from guys.she kept those letters back in the cupboard.but one letter from coimbatore got her attention.it was from tarun kumar,a mechanical engineering student studying in PSG engineering college.he told that he got her address from one of his friend.he mentioned that his dad was in government service and mom was home-maker and he had one younger brother.his hand writing was like a child's scribbling.hard to read.but still something attracted her.so she replied to him with her description.soon they became good friends.daily after returning from college she use to check for his mails in her cupboard.days passed happily.they spoke through letters. they talked about everything except themselves.krithika's friends started teasing her by saying "how is ur coimbatore mappilai?"her reply was just a smile.what they know about our friendship???she thought to herself.In his next mail "krithi,my friend says'macha,she is in love with you da...and he teases me by saying "KA KO TA (kandhal kottai tarun)"she laughed reading that letter.but she understood what he meant. he indirectly proposed her.but she dont wanna react to that mail.so simply replied"seems your friend watches more movies,thats why he is thinking so...one more doubt...is it your friend thoughts or do you started loving me???just kidding...dont serious.what he knew about our friendship?you dont take it seriously.he might be making fun of you.you concentrate in your studies."he replied"no da...its just his words...we are good friends"she breathed happily with that reply.As days passed by...they exchanged their photos after one year of their friendship.'you are very beautiful da...i showed your photo to all my friends.everyone said you are charming".he was also smart,good looking but that didnt make any difference in her.she liked his character not his personality.For every festival he used to send greeting cards.he sends greetings even for republic day,gandhi jayanthi...and sometimes hello,remember me,miss you cards...but she never sent any.once she sent her hand painted card on his request.from the she started sending him cards once in a while.everyone knows how much krithi loves his friendship.he is also like that only.when she was sick for few days.she couldnt write letters to him.at that time he was almost depressed.wrote many letters... "if i have done anything by mistake.iam sorry da.please punish me as you wish but dont punish me without writing letters i cannot tolerate your separation.i dont want to miss you at any cost.daily iam checking my mailbox and getting disappointed without your letters"."oh my god...how much love he is pouring on me? Am i worth for all these? Thank god for giving me such a wonderful friend for life time" krithika's eyes filled with tears...she wrote him immediately about her health.iam not well da,that why couldnt write letters to you""i know you might be having some valid reason for not writing me but still i couldnt tolerate.you know what was the turning point in my life?it was the day i received your first letter.yes da...its you who moulded my life beautifully.you made me a poet with your poems,you made a painter with your paintings.you made me someone special among my friends.what else you are going to make me angel?.i want to hear your voice da,if you dont mind could you call me to my hostel number or give your number I will call you…. please???"krithi was happy while reading his letter.he appreciates her for everything she do.they both are good in studies.she can feel his immense love for her.but she is helpless...she called him after two days to fulfil his small wish.they spoke only 'Hi,Hello,How are you?,fine.thank you.take care,bye" only that much...he praised her voice in his next mail "wow...what a lovely voice you have da!!!...cuckoo will fail infront of your voice" he is the first person prasing her voice. she thought all guys will praise girls like that only.but later when she gave a speech in college culturals.everyone appreciated her cute voice she never know that she have such cute voice until he told...he is simply great.pen friendship is some kinda nice feeling.one day she just bunked her college due to heavy down pouring of rain.after breakfast she slept off while scribbling some paintings for tarun."madam courier"shouted the courier guy...his rough voice woke her up from her deep sleep.the rain stopped by that time.when she half opened her eyes to see who it is.Her uncle was standing in the gate,signing in the delivery form,receiving a parcel.she thought it was for him, he have given their address for receiving letters from his office as he was staying in rented house.she waited for sometime expecting the parcel for her but he didnt give it to her so thought that it was for him she slipped back into sleep to continue her colourful dreams.when she got up she found a valentine card with the words 'To my valentine', beautiful stone embedded bangles, valentine gift with the word 'valentine, you add colors to my life' scattered on the table with the cover named TO KRITHIKA. she was more shocked than surprised to see those valentine's day gifts. my god it was gift from tarun for her on valentine's day.Now she remembered the parcel received by her uncle. "what a manner less fellow he is...!!! how dare is he to open my parcel without my permission" she got very angry, but he was not there by then. None of her family members wont touch her letters. they give importance to others feelings.Their was a big meeting in her house that night at dinner time about that parcel and about her friendship with tarun."ma,he is just my friend.thats all.nothing else between him and me as your stupid brother told you.i swear ma...if you trust me or not iam not going to bother,because i know what i am."she went inside the room and slamming the door.That topic was stopped there, but war started in her. she lied on bed, thinking why he sent such gifts? is he started loving me??? if i didnt accept his proposal means...then do i need to miss him??? his friendship? but how can i miss his friendship?She don’t know want to reply. so she stopped writing letters to him. She cannot discuss neither with friends nor family as they are already making fun. she was in dilemma...whether to write or not…he too didn't write to her. probably he might be waiting for my reply she thought.finally she made up her mind to write a letter." Tarun ,you are my best friend, guide, philosopher, etc., no one understood me the way you understood. the way you encouraged. iam really lucky to have such a great friend like you, but i am not lucky enough to get you as my life partner. i never felt of loving you. i always seen you as one of my best friend. everyone thought i am loving you but i never had such kinda thoughts. why all you guys are like this. if a girl speaks friendly means why you takes it as love? because of you guys only parents suspects their daughters. That’s why they are not allowing girls to speak with guys. you are not actor ajith kumar in the movie kadhal kottai and iam not heroine devayani to love each other without seeing in person? i never expected this from you. You want to do MS in USA na??? you have GRE and TOFEL exams next week na?prepare well for that. i don't think we can continue our friendship after you got this kinda thoughts.so lets separate as good friends.wish you good luck in all your future endeavor’s i hope you will appreciate my decision" she completed writing her last letter.yes...it was the last letter to her beloved friend. she couldn't control her tears. she don't know how to control her feelings.she winked off her tears when she heard someone's footsteps.days passed by....but there is no reply from him....she was restless.she couldn’t able to guess what he thought after reading her letter.she was completely depressed...she was pale...she was not active like before.she stopped speaking with friends at college.no one seen her like that earlier.she was lost in her thoughts. "what has happened to you krithika.why are you so dull?" asked her childhood buddy sneha in the lunch time."any problem between you and tarun???" asked hesitatinglykrithi burst into tears hugging her.she never seen her best friend crying before. everyone calls her as "smile" as she handles everything positively with a smile on her face.but now she is....she explained everything what has happened...after listening the whole story.she asked calmly "you might have told YES to him rather than suffering like this"she continued " i know how much you like him,he too loves you unconditionally.you know very well he is very nice person.then what is the problem in accepting his proposal?"“yes sneha...he is very nice person thats the problem...”“what?” puzzled sneha“Are you hesitating because of your health???""yes...he is such a marvelous person i met in my life. he loved me the way i needed to be loved. He is such a caring heart.according to him i am an angel,his dream girl.how can i become a burden to him.how can i spoil his dreams by saying iam handicapped?.i dont want to ruin his future"sneha hugged her friend proudly....“everything is ok but he too will be suffering like you only na krithi?"questioned snehaShe continued "he loved you so much since these years.he cannot tolerate a day without your letters.then how can you expect him to be happy now.he too will be suffering like you only na"“Yes…she is right…he cannot tolerate a day without her letter but how will he now????”That evening she called to his hostel number they told "he vacated the hostel"She searched for his residence number in his letters but she couldnt find any.she tried all the numbers given by him but she couldnt find him.Atlast she only got his Email id from his friend.She mailed him saying “tarun I love you so much.now I realized what a blunder mistake I made by saying NO to your proposal.leave your parents and come tarun lets ran away and get marry.”She knows his mind that he never agree for this. eventhough he loved her immensly he will hate her for this mail.She reached home happily with content of well executing her plan.Next morning she got a call from the net cafe girl"madam, you got reply for your mail,which you sent from my mail id yesterday""really, read it out for me..."'dear krithika,what you have decided earlier is right.as per your wish iam going USA to pursue my MS. lets seperate as friends happily and try to reach our goals.be happy.wish you good luck'bye"Thanked that girl and she banged the phone happily. She knew that he will never think of her again in his life...She got him out of depression,but who will get her out of depression???

Life Together

2012-01-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70 walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.

Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....
This couple had been quarreling throughout their 40 plus years of marriage. Nothing ever seems to go right.

They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about. All they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agreed on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 years of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
"I really love you, but i really can't carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."
"It's o.k., I understand.." said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together with just the three of them. The wife thought, "Why not? since they are still gonna be friends.."

At the dining table, there was a awkard silence. The first dish was roasted chicken. Immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady..
"Take this, it's your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought there might still be a chance for the relationship, but the wife was frowning when she answered..
"This is always the problem. You always think so highly of yourself and never thought about how I feel. Don't you know that I hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her. Little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all. Little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn't sleep. Throught the night, they toss and turn repeatedly... After hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can't carry on life without her. He wants her back, he wants to tell her he is sorry. He wanted to tell her "I love you"...

He picks up the phone, started dialing her number.... The ringing never stops.. He never stopped dialing....

On the other side, she was sad. She couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all. She loves him a lot, but she just can't take it anymore.... The phone rang but she refuses to answer knowing that it's him...
"What's the point of talking now that it's over... I have asked for it and now I wanna keep it this way. If not I will lose face.." She thought. With the phone still ringing, she decided to pull out the phone cord...

Little did she remember, he had heart problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away... She rushed down to his apartment and saw his body lying on the couch still holding on to the phone. He had a heart attack when he was trying to get through to her phone line....

As sad as she was, she have to clear his belongings. When she was looking through the drawers, she saw this insurance policy dated from the day they got married with the beneficiary being her. And together in those files, there was this note.

"To my dearest wife,

By the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around. I bought this policy for you. Though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married. I might not be around anymore but I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around by your side. I love you. "

Tears flowed like river......

"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other... For who they are.. Not what they are..."

The Love of a Daughter

2012-01-02T04:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I was the one to blame. I've hurt so many in various ways. I tore the ones I loved apart. If only i could take back the day, that everything went to hell. Please don't hate me . I'm not selfish like other children . I'm not conceited like some. I am not a bad person. But somehow my whole world turned around . I barely recognized myself. I went from the color gold to black. They say the truth sets you free and in some cases it does , but in my case it just hurts other people. They say if I ever need someone , I could go to them. But what I needed is for them to need me. We are planning to move, so my Father doesn't have to wake up way to early. I do grieve for my father. He has fallen asleep twice in the road , but a horn woke him up. If it wasn't for me he would be able to focus on his work and not me. My mother which I dearly love has heart problems, and has visited a doctor. My grandmother, I had made her cry. I remember that day, I just looked at her and slowly my body was taken over with guilt. I now do feel happy, I swear. All I ask is for my dear father and mother to be fine. And so to my grandmother and father. My aunt and uncle, and my cousins and brothers and sisters. I will always love them and believe it or not , you have no idea what I do to stop my dad from falling asleep, stop my mothers heart problems. I would sacrifice my life to save them. Because they shouldn't be punished. I should. I know I cannot save my father on the road but I can save him and my mother and grandparents from sadness. I would give away everything a human can imagine. I'm sorry I caused all the pain Daddy , I'm sorry i caused your heart ache Mommy, I'm sorry brother and sister, aunt and uncle, grandparents,cousins. They have no idea how much i'm willing to give away to repay from the sins I made. I Love You

She Was Alone & She Dies Alone

2012-01-01T23:53:00.000-08:00

I love you,’ she whispered staring out the window seeing the roofs nothing but still brick houses.

She knows he cant hear her, but she says it most days always staring out of the window, seeing nothing but mist of every grey morning.
She has just reached her 25th birthday, but all that was on her mind is she is not there, she is nothing to say happy birthday, to kill her on her lips to wrap her arms around her neck & pull her tight.
She has never known her heart to light, to be like air , never hearing it no never feeling.
Her heart is it stone heavy, the grief overtakes her on most days, people look at her with sad eyes, as she sitting the corner of the libiry staring out of the grey mist morning,. She doesn’t even put on a pretend smile, what the worth of a smile when you don’t mind it, she thinks, why should I pretend that I’m okay. So everyone else wont feel bad.
Her hair is now cut short, just below the jaw line, thinking somehow it will change everything, that I knew haircut will change something in this mud & stone life that Rita Lenworth has. That all that long brown hair had been dragging you down.
That she buys new clothes will do the same.
But it doesn’t change one single second of her existence.
Nothing changes in Rita life, the mundane life she leads it nothing but empty space. That she is clogging up, her shoulders her sagging as she slumps over books & books. Her brown eyes reading two pages at one time, she comes in mostly every morning, simply because she hasn’t enough book at home.
Cause it better than being her in land of the living than being in those four off pale white walls filled with stuff that she has seen time over again.
To a passer-by you might see her as in mourning In her black clothes that cover mostly every inch of wobbly flesh, her face turned away from public view, she barely raises her eyes as some one would when their come through the doors off this turn of the century liberty. But Rita doesn’t cause she knows know one is coming in for her, to look for her too speak to her, because there is just one soul who knows her.
But again as she look out of the small window she sit at every day, she looks at the mountains, seeing the grey mist sitting nicely on top, she knows she will say the words in a tiny whisper of a voice.
I love you.
Its closing time now & before they can push everyone out, she buttons her cold black coat all the way up to her chin & walks out into the cold stale air. Quarter past four time to catch the bus to the four walls & everything she hates.
Every organ is begging her not to go home, why go back there. There’s only one answer , there is no where else to go.
She walked back to her one bedroom flat in the small village & goes walks as always with her head down & her hands in her pockets watching her every time 100 steps towards her front door, she is never wrong.
She climbs up to her eight floor flat & opens the door. There it is welcoming her home with open arms & a huge big smile.
Silence.
Taking her coat off she sees as always where everything is exactly where she left it.
Nothing ever changes, nothing ever would. She walks into her living room where the there the T.V one chair & one small brown table in the middle of the room, there are no pictures of loved ones, no small little quirky knick knacks. There four empty walls. She sits at the table & stares at the wall in front of her.
Rita doesn’t even weep anymore, she doesn’t think she can honestly there is nothing left inside the stone heavy heart, she feels the day melt on her face as darkness approaches.
She turns out the window looks at the distance as the only words she ever says.
I love you.
Are you wondering yet why she says that, why that’s the only thing she every says.
Because Rita is in love & far away she is.
Rita doesn’t know where, dead or alive happy or sad. She doesn’t know why she is, or how she is.
She just knows that once she was truly in love with someone that is not beside her anymore.
She doesn’t have a photo a number to call or an address she can mail the countless letter she has piled up on her bedside table.
All she knows that love once came & now its cruelly gone.
I love you that all she says day after day night after night before she sleeps after she wakes where she looks out of the window.
Because truly Rita is in love, because one day she was happy one day she was complete, one day she was vibrated an alive.
Now she is just waiting to die, waiting for the whole world to fall, this whole place to burn .
She now gets up & strips naked not caring to look at her body, she climbs into bed & wraps herself in a tiny ball & waits to fall asleep, waiting for her to come to her & dream.
& she doesn’t like clockwork she comes & everything is good & everything is alive.
The doctors call her disorder & clinical depression. That everything she thinks, she feels she loves she hates is 100 times more that what you feel in a single hour of your life.
So where doesn’t this story go, doesn’t the woman come back to her does she take her away & they be happy like so many fairy tales end.
No.
Rita is alone with the simplest of memories of being in love. She dies alone & get buried alone with only a few kind words from the vicar to god.

Never Wanted

2012-01-01T23:31:00.000-08:00

There once was a little baby girl born on Feb. 26, 1997. Her biological mom didn't even care. The little girl was taken away at three months old. She was giving to this lovely, church family. The mom couldn't have children and wanted one so bad. So, the little girl was spoiled to death and became a monster. At the age of 7 her mom, was diagnosed with cancer. The little girl didn't pay any mind, but inside she died a little. She had no idea who her biological dad was, and probably never will. The dad in this family, was hiding a horrid secret from everyone. Before the little girls eighth birthday on Feb. 7. Her mother passed away. She wasn't home because her mom was rushed to the hospital because the little girl ran by her bed and pulled a tube out. When the mom got home, she never woke up. The little girl cried and cried til she couldn't cry anymore. She blamed herself. They went to the funeral, the little girl didn't cry or even sob once. She died some more. Her daddy, slowly began to stop caring and talking to her. He took her to a home for a while to see if that would fix things. It did for a while. She began to want attention that her dad wouldn't give her. She found herself chasing after every boy to get attention from. She was now in her 6th grade year. She began hanging out with the wrong friends and got her in a lot of trouble. She wanted to do better but never really could without any guidance. When they all went to court and got 25 hours of community service. Her dad took her back into this room. With another man, and her friends mom. He looked that girl straight in the face and said he didn't want her anymore. She set there, then looked down at her hands and said ok. She didn't shed a tear. She died some more. They went to pick up her things from her house, so she could move in with a new family. She didn't even say good-bye to that man she knew as her dad. Turns out she didn't know him at all. He never wanted kids was his secret. He had put up with her to long. The girl never looks back. She isn't close to anyone anymore. She has guidance now, and eventually went from nasty to fabulous. She made the cheerleading team and suddenly everyone loved her. She still sometimes cries at night when nobodys around. She doesn't dare cry in front of anyone. She died again. She still looks for attention. She can't help but want it. She misses her mom, and wonders what her life would have been like if she hadn't passed. The girl is now in high school and made Varsity cheerleading her freshman year. Every boy and girls seems to stare, it gets rather annoying. She does pageants and has won her first 2 so far. There is one coming up in Jan. The girl sometimes feels like taking a bottle of pills and feels the need to throw up. She doesn't dare. She tells herself she is fabulous to make herself feel better. The girls blood ran cold a long time ago. She can't help it. She doesn't cry if someone dies, she doesn't cry if someones dieing in the hospital. Sometimes she thinks she can't feel. Thats all started to change, she starts to feel a little something now and then. It never lasts. The once never wanted little girl, is now wanted by many. Well, that little girl was me (Lissy); that was and has been my life.

Sad Love Story Breakups – Learn From Them

2012-01-01T23:01:00.001-08:00

Are you in your own sad love story? Did you just have a bad breakup? How did it happen? At first you were crazy in love and then bam! What can you do to stop breaking up? Will you ever find the one you are meant to be with forever? True love exists and you will find him or her one day. Stay encouraged and positive that you will have a happy love story. This sad love story will pass and you will find your happily ever after. Learn a little more about how you can find your true love.

Learn from the breakup. In order to stop breaking up with people, you need to learn from your mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, no one is perfect. And that is a good thing! I would not want to live up to someone who is perfect…hehe. Look at yourself and how you can improve. I think everybody can always improve themselves. Know that it is a process. Don’t beat yourself up. Love yourself more and love others more. Learn from your mistakes and them move on. Don’t dwell on this one sad love story in your life, for there will be many more happy love stories to come.

Communications is key to a healthy happy love story. Many people breakup and they don’t know why. It may be, because they didn’t communicate to their partner well. Remember, no one can read minds. Tell you lover how you feel. In relationships talk about where you see yourself in the future. Know the other person’s values. Talk about family, kids, religion, politics, and money… I know they say you are not suppose to talk about these topics, but it is very important when you are spending the rest of your lives together. If you don’t share the same values, it can be very difficult to stay together. Make sure that you will have a wonderful love story that will last, not a sad love story.

Many people breakup, because they fight too much. Try to control your emotions and actions more. Yes, it is hard, but you do have self-control. Let your partner win the fight sometimes, just to find the peace. Think before you speak. Don’t let him frustrated or anger you so much, try to maintain a peaceful state of mind. Don’t complain about him. Look for the good things that he does. Most men display their love through their actions, not words. So watch what he does with a loving eye. Try to have a more peaceful loving mind. Think loving happy thoughts, not bad ones. Turn that sad love story into a happily ever after.

When you do fight, forgive easily. Yes, you may not want to forgive him. It can be really hard to forgive, but holding in that grudge can damage the relationship. Forgiving your partner can also be good for you. Holding a grudge damages your soul and happiness. Forgive him easily and be happy. Even if it is his fault, be the better person and forgive him anyway, and then he will probably ask for your forgiveness as well. Forgive the sad love story fights, and feel the weight lifted off of your shoulders.

Trust That You Will Not Have a Sad Love Story

Trust your lover more. Tell your partner how you feel. When you hold things back, they may not trust you and it also means that you do not trust them. If you don’t have trust in a relationship, then it will fail. Open your heart all the way, don’t hold anything back. Don’t be afraid to love, because true love is worth it. If you get hurt, move on and love with all your heart some more. Believe in true love and know that you can have a happily ever after in your very own love story.

Another way to stop breaking up is by giving more compliments and respect. Everybody loves to hear sweet love phrases whispered in the ear. Giving someone a compliment, makes them more happy, which will make you more happy. Try to give your partner one truthful loving compliment everyday. Think about them more, ask them questions about their day, and really listen to them. Don’t make conversations all about you, all of the time. Look for ways to make them happy. Romance them, and wine and dine them more. You could even write some short love poems for them. Go ahead and give it a shot, it is always the thought that counts. Make your own love story last, don‘t make a sad love story.

You can stop breaking up. Believe in true love. Don’t settle for anybody less than the best. No one is perfect, but there is someone perfect for you. Keep searching. Stay positive and happy. Learn from past breakups and move on. Trust more, forgive easily, give out love words, control your emotions, and communicate. Know that you don’t have to live in a sad love story, hold out for your happily ever after.

Reasons People Relate To A Sad Love Story

2012-01-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

Why is it that most human beings can relate to a sad love story? Well, there are many reasons, of course, but here are just a few for you to mull over:

It can be easily said that most humans crave love. People are born to give and receive love, and in fact, love is said to be the emotion responsible for most of the things that people do and say. And, unless you are one of those rare people who don’t feel anything at all, you can probably relate to needing the connection in your life, as well.

Most people can easily relate to a sad romantic story that was supposed to last forever, but it didn’t, instead it ended badly. Most of us have experienced the same type of heartbreak others experience, at least once in our lives, if not more. So when a person hears about a tragic ending to a love story – or sees a sad love movie – she automatically makes a connection with the person, or actor, she most relates to in regard to her own experience. This also helps a person see that broken hearts are common to most, and helps her to realize she is not alone, she hasn’t been singled out for punishment. Bad things happen to us all, we just have to keep moving on. Have hope that one day your story will have a happily ever after.

Misery Loves Company with a Sad Love Story

A heartbreaking love story can opens a person’s eyes to see that she’s in “good” company when she watches another go through something she has gone through in her own life, especially if the other person’s circumstances are worse than her own were. This may seem like a cruel and cold-hearted way for someone to make a connection, but in essence, it helps that person to laugh it off and stop feeling bad about her own life, as she now learns to count her blessings. Life is too short to feel sad for very long. Think about all the good relationships you will have in the future. Think about how you are a stronger person. Know that good will come of this.

A perfect love life all the time makes for boring conversation. It’s also a fact that if all the love relationships in the world went off without a hitch, no one would ever want to hear about them – or pay to watch movies about them, either. However, those love affairs that turn out to be train-wrecks are fascinating to everyone – especially if the storyline has to do with love that has become suddenly “unrequited” for no apparent reason, or those in which a third party has become involved. And, look at it this way – without sad love stories, which turn sour, there would be no more need for those popular sad love songs that are such a hit with most people.

So now you know a few of the reasons most people can relate to a sad love story. Whether or not they have noble intentions of being sympathetic by their interest, the fact remains that sadness in love seems to hold a strong attraction for the masses. Many people use them as a great way to cope over their own relationship breakups. They can be a good way to let it all out and then to get your mind off of yourself. There is always someone who had worse relationship stories than you. Love is hard to find, but if it wasn’t, life might be too boring. So lets be happy regardless of what happens and know that one day we will find true love.

A Sad Love Story that Began with a Lie

2012-01-01T22:30:00.000-08:00

This is a sad love story about a young man and woman who once met at a party. The girl was quite beautiful, as every man wanted her. The man was an average guy that no one really paid much attention too. After the party was over he got up the courage to invite her for a cup of coffee. She accepted his invitation and together they went and sat down in a small coffee shop. He was very nervous and did not say much, which made her feel a little uncomfortable when the young man finally spoke and ask the waiter to bring him some salt. He then took the salt and poured some into his coffee.

Many people began to stare at what the young man had done. His face began to turn red, but he continued to pour the salt into his cup of coffee. The young woman then asked him why did you put salt in your coffee. He then went on to tell her that when he was a young boy he lived near the ocean and how he loved playing in the salty water. So each time he has coffee he puts salt in it and it reminds him of his childhood days of living near the ocean and how much he missed his home town and his late parents too.

After listening to his story her eyes began to fill with tears. She was so touched by his story that seemed to come deep from inside his heart. She though a man who can tell about his feelings of being home sick and his inner feelings about his late parents has the kind of compassion that she just admired very much.

As time went on they began to date and she discovered just how kind-hearted, warm, caring, and what a loving person he was. She loved his sweet love words and love phrases that he always said to her. She thought how she almost missed out on getting together with him if it was not for the salty coffee. This story then became like so many other stories. They would go on to marry and would live happily for many years to come. Every time she made him a cup of coffee she would put salt into it as she knew he would always want it that way.

Thirty years went on by and he passed away and he left her a letter that she would read. It said, My dearest wife, I hope you will forgive me as I once told you a lie. It was the only lie I ever told you. Do you recall the very first time we had met. I was quite nervous with you sitting with me at the coffee shop. I wanted some sugar but instead I said salt. It was a mistake and also it was hard for me to admit it, so I just went along with it and let you think I really wanted salt instead of sugar, I was too embarrassed to tell you that part. And now that I am dying I need to tell you about this sad romantic story. I really did not like salt in my coffee, but I had salt in my coffee ever since we had met and I always knew I would never have any regrets or feel sorry for what I had done. Having you as my wife gave me the greatest happiness I had ever experienced in my whole life.

If I was able to live even a little longer I would still use salt in my coffee a second time and I would continue to love you as my wife even if I had to live a life again with the lie of drinking coffee with salt added to it. Tears filled up in her eyes as she thought some day somewhere someone may ask her just what does coffee taste like with salt added into it. She knew just what she would say. She would simply reply, it is so sweet.

And that is the end of this heartrending love story. I don’t know who wrote this story. Please let me know the name of the author, if you know. As of now this story will be by an unknown author. I cannot believe the man took salt is his coffee for so many years! I can’t believe he never fessed up about the lie. I guess that is love, but I think the salty coffee part is the saddest part of all. I think it is suppose to mean that love is when someone will do anything for you. What do you think? What are some of your favorite stories? Feel free to leave a comment or email me one of your own and I will post it! Do you have a sad love story to share?

My Sad Love Story

2012-01-01T21:46:00.000-08:00

A Sweet And Sad Love Story - Real

2012-01-01T09:59:00.000-08:00

One of the most touching and purest love story I've read in a while..

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this
guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl
will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl
loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be
very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vents her anger
on him. As for him.. he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his
studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the gal: "I'm not very good
with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take
care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to
talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in
& agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.

The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas,
continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls.
Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a
car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed.
She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum cry, she wanted to
comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was
just a sigh. She had lost her voice....

The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her
voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from
her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silent cry. it's
still just silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything
seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone which pierced
into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know &
not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she
does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions
& millions of reply and countless phone calls. all the gal could do besides
crying is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she
could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the gal learnt sign language & started a new life.

Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend
came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know
what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an
invitation card for the guy's wedding. The gal was shattered. When she
opened the letter, she saw her name on it instead. When she was about to ask
her friend what was going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her....

He used sign language to tell her, "I've spent a year to learn sign
language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me
have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the
ring back into her finger. The gal finally smiled......